Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Well today I go down to case the "spinning" room. Tomorrow is the day for the class. The instructor is there. Her name is Anna. Before I knew what was happening, she had me weighing and then was showing me the spin bikes. Now people I was not prepared for that at all. I was down there on my break.
These spin bikes are on a pedastal thing. Anna jumps onto the bike from the rear. MEANING SHE JUMPED FROM THE FLOOR, OVER THE SEAT, AND ONTO THE BIKE. And then she said "you try it." I said Anna are you freaking kidding me? I was looking for a way to lean the bike over so I could get my leg over the middle bar. I couldn't even move the bike it was so heavy. So Anna gets behind and starts shoving my fluffy butt up and over the bar and boom bada bing I am on the bike. Do you have any idea what it is like to have someone you have just met grabbing your butt? Once up there on mt everest bike, I couldn't get down. I could not reach the floor. I had to hold onto to Anna, lean sideways, and literally fall off the bike. My hair was already sweating wet. I can see how I would lose weight on that thing. Crap, I could never get off. I made an executive decision and told Anna I don't think I am ready for spinning at this point in time. I figure if you can't get on and off a machine by yourself, then maybe, just maybe, you are not ready for it.
Go back to my desk and see we got an email from someone who works at the company and is also a trainer. He charges $ 10 for one hour. First session is free. I sent him an email that said:
I would like to try a session on Thursday August 12. I am 53. Need to lose 150 lbs. and have only been exercising with any regularity for 48 days. Also bear in mind I tend to whine...a lot. Assume you will be tough. Also I tell everything on my blog. I will probably post your workout spreadsheet (if ok with you) on there. My blog followers cheer me on. This also goes on facebook. I have already told two people over here about you and they agree I should be the guinea pig on this deal.If any of the above has not scared you off, I will see you on August 12.Is 6:00 ok? Let me know.P.S. I have a sense of humor and hope you do as well.
Well, he sent me back the following proposed list of what we will cover in our session. I think the guy must be ex-military. I think I have hired Rambo.
Upper Body
Bench Press
Lateral Raise
Bicep Curl
Scapular Depressor (this sounds painful)
front/side raise
Mid Body
Abs-hip lift
6 Inches
2 Leg Kick outs
Over head Oblique
Weighted Obliques
Planks ( as in walk the plank, what the crap)
Scissors
Reach Crunch
Back-Mountain Climber
Low Back Raise
One Sided Dumbell Pick up
Low Back Machine
Lower Body
All Four Raised (what am I going to be raising here???)
Leg Press
Lunge
Dumbell Squat
Quad Machine
Toe Raise
Cardio
Elliptical (the devil machine)
Jogging
Aerobics
Bicycle
Walking
Stretch
Nowhere on this list do I see the words, BREAK AND LET FLUFFY WOMAN BREATHE.
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1 comments:
Plank: a core strengthening exercise where you are in a raised position off the floor on your elbows and toes. Hold for as long as possible. Can Not WAIT to hear the next post! am laughing so hard at this one! he won't make you do all that at once. And, people, during the July visit at which she swears i was Attila, she was NOTICEABLY thinner thru chest/shoulders/neck! Way to go! Now I am passing the baton off to Rambo - you go girl!
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